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Who Are We To Question?

“And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed – only Naaman the Syrian.”  Luke 4:27
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESNow that my kids are getting older, they’re questioning me a lot, as in all the time. I don’t want to be a dictator and unapproachable.  Ideally, I want my kids to be completely comfortable asking me anything, even if it’s something outside the boundary lines I’ve draw for them.

Yet it’s driving me nuts that they’re now questioning even the most mundane things I say or ask of them. You know that back and forth where you answer their question, then they flip your answer back to you with with “why” attached? It’s very different from a toddler’s why: that’s just how small children learn. Instead, this is the why of questioning my judgement and decisions.

That endless back and forth has me pulling my hair out and finally yelling, “Because I said so!  End of discussion.” I am fed up. Approachability aside, who are they to question me relentlessly at ages 11, 9 and 5, for Pete’s sake?

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Fasting From Bad Habits

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again.  Hebrews 5:11-12
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Mason with his Lenten countdown calendar from Catholic Icing

     As Lent was approaching, my kids and I were talking about what to give up for the 40 days. Zack automatically chose dessert. But Mason and Jocelyn were struggling. I threw out some random ideas and examples, but nothing seemed to click.

     Frustrated because he couldn’t think of anything, Mason started to sulk. When I saw his shoulders slump and the “whoa is me” look cross his face, my knee-jerk response was, “You should give up big reactions to little problems for Lent.” When Mason agreed, I knew I had struck gold.

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My Third Guest Post on Franciscan Mission Service

Letting Go Of The Black And White

“But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:14

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My commissioning ceremony before heading to Guatemala.

I was raised in a strict Irish Catholic family where everything was very black and white.  We said the Rosary, prayed Novenas, visited apparition sites, and tried our best to follow the Ten Commandments to the letter.  It was very comforting to have the boundaries so clearly defined.  It created a solid and wonderful foundation to build upon. Continue reading →

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Gratitude Is The Great Equalizer

“‘My Son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me and everything I have is yours.'”   Luke 15:31
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES     During February school vacation, I invited my kids’ friends over for playdates. I made the invitation the same for all three friends: Tuesday from 1 to 4 p.m. The grandmother of Jocelyn’s friend offered to take Jocelyn. Knowing I’d have four energetic boys acting out crazy battle scenes with weapons, I was thrilled to have the five year old girls safely at her house instead. However, she asked if she could take Jocelyn 12 to 4:30. She was doing me a favor; of course I said yes.
     When Zack found out Jocelyn’s playdate was going to be longer than his, he started to complain. This isn’t a new scenario in our house. Whenever there’s even a hint of unevenness in things, one of my kids complains. Knowing the drill, Mason chimed in with my usual response, “But Zack, we had tons more playdates when we were Jocelyn’s age. We shouldn’t complain.” The reminder worked and Zack was fine after that.
     However, it bothered me that Zack wouldn’t accept the situation until he was reminded that he had a lot of playdates when he was five. I felt like I hadn’t done a good enough job preparing my kids for the fact that life is unfair. I wondered whether I was setting them up for failure when they have to go out into the real world. Then I came across this Scripture passage. Our scenario had me reading it in a whole new light.

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My Other Guest Post on Franciscan Mission Service

Letting Go: The Power of Just Being There

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:2

As long as I can remember, I have wanted to help people and fix their problems. It was the major reason I joined Franciscan Mission Service (FMS) and served in Guatemala for three years. I was young and energetic, willing to do anything to change the world for the better. Continue reading →

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A New Perspective On Lent

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.    Matthew 4:1
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Photo courtesy of RGB Stock Photos

     We have an amazing pastor at our church.  In just fifteen minutes flat, his Ash Wednesday sermon helped me look at Lent in a whole new way.  He explained that Jesus could have gone right from His baptism by John directly into His public ministry.  But He wanted to role model for us the process of preparing and purifying ourselves before beginning something extremely important.  What He role models most is avoiding temptation to purge false images of God.  Jesus went into the desert specifically to face temptation in order to wrestle those false images into submission.  In doing so, He provided us with only the purest image of God.
     I’ve never viewed Lent like this before.  I’ve always looked at the forty days as a sacrifice: giving up something that matters in exchange for the sacrifice Jesus made for me.  Or I’ve added something that nurtures my relationship with God, to draw me closer to Him.
     But my pastor has me wondering what false images of God I am tempted to carry in my heart and mind.  Not only am I curious, but I also need to know so I can work through them to avoid passing them on to my children.  As crazy as it sounds, the devil’s three temptations are the perfect place to start.

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My Guest Post On Franciscan Mission Service

Letting Go Of Preconceived Notions

“For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John.  And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come.”  Matthew 11:13-14
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES     I led an adventurous life before kids.  I backpacked Europe and South America for months on end, served as a missionary in Guatemala for three years through Franciscan Mission Service (FMS), and worked a plethora of interesting jobs.  But all along, what I wanted most was a family:  eight kids to fill my home with laughter and love.

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The Deception That We Are Owed

“…give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.  Otherwise, I may have too much and disown You, and say, ‘Who is the Lord?'”   Proverbs 30:8-9
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES     I find joy in giving my kids little gifts for no reason.  It’s fun to hide things in their lunch boxes, put sugary treats in their Valentines envelopes, etc.  I love to see their faces light up with joy, and feel their warm hugs of gratitude.  It creates a little bit of magic, and moments that sparkle.  That is, until they expect it…
     There was a day last week where I spaced and didn’t put anything in their Valentine envelopes.  Trust me, there was no sparkle that day.  Instead, there was a storm: dark clouds hanging over my kids as they pouted, and thunder booming out of me as I ranted about how they shouldn’t always expect more.
     What infuriated me the most was they thought I owed them a treat for that day.  Oh my!  When I stumbled upon that revelation, the storm ratcheted up to a level five hurricane.  There was nowhere they could take cover to be safe from the high winds of my anger.  Talk about a sweet idea of little Valentine gifts going oft awry.
     Now that the storm has passed, and the sun is out, I can see that part of my anger was directed at myself.  I was disappointed that I haven’t successfully gotten the greedy vs. grateful lesson ingrained in my kids yet.  Every time I think I have, and feel as if I can coast, something like this happens, and I feel like a failure.
     Or the pendulum swings the other way.  I get all self-righteous and swear I’m never going above and beyond for my kids again.  If doing so creates greedy and spoiled kids, I’m done.  It’s safe to say, neither approach is the right one.

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Pockets of Love Notes Everywhere

All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.      
Song of Songs 4:7
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES     For the last eight years, my daily “mom uniform” has been jeans, whatever cotton shirt has been on sale at Kohl’s, and a zip-up fleece.  I try to jazz things up a bit by mixing and matching my shirts and fleeces, but there’s only so much you can do with that.  However, I’m always comfortable, and I always have pockets for the essentials: tissues, a credit card and my cell phone.  The bottom line is, it works for me, and my appearance is adequate for the life I lead.
     Although I have three pairs of Lee jeans that I rotate, there’s one pair that I think I’ve worn about 156 times over the past year, no lie.  They have a high percentage of Lycra, making them incredibly stretchy and comfortable.  They’re like the yoga pants of jeans.
     Imagine my surprise when I noticed just the other day, for the first time in 156 wears, that the inside front pockets are made from a fabric that has, “You are beautiful,” “You are stunning,” “You are gorgeous,” printed all over it!  Isn’t it wonderful that someone in the Lee design department wanted to bolster women up with hidden words of affirmation?  That person knew that it’s how we feel on the inside that determines our true beauty.  When we connect with someone special, triumph over a problem, or get showered with love and affection, our confidence level goes up.  That radiates out and enhances our beauty far more than a good hair day can.

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We All Need A Boat

He told His disciples to have a boat ready for Him because of the crowd, so that they would not crush Him.   Mark 3:9
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Photo courtesy of http://www.rgbstock.com

     We’ve all been there: that crazy line up of everything happening at once.  For us, it was a two-and-a-half day span with a school concert, a spelling bee, karate, piano, band practice, a MOSAIC Kids event, a MOSAIC Moms group , a conference call, and Friday playdates.  All that was just leading up to my husband’s Fun Run on Saturday morning at 7 a.m., at our home, where we fed a group of 30 runners a hot breakfast after their morning run.
     During that whole time, I kept hearing the refrain in my head from an old television commercial about bubble bath.  In it, the mom is run ragged with calamity after calamity.  She turns to the camera and says, “Calgon, take me away.”  It ends with her in a luxurious bubble bath, eyes closed, head laid back, and a look of true serenity on her face.  You envied the fact that she found her peace, and you were willing to pay any price for a bottle of that Calgon.

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