After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 1 Samuel 18:1
Every night, after my kids are asleep, I go into their rooms and bless them. I make the sign of the cross on their foreheads with holy water and say, “God, please bless and watch over ____. Keep him/her healthy, happy, and safe. Bring him/her good and true friends. Help me be the mom he/she needs me to be. Thank you for the gift of him/her. Amen.”
Although my prayer is a plea to God to help me be more patient, understanding, and in tune with each of my kids’ needs, I’m more focused on my plea for God to put good and true friends in my kids’ paths. I know my job is to create a solid foundation for my kids to build on. But I also know that there will come a time when their peers will have such an influence over them, they may be tempted to leave my foundation behind, and build on the rocky ground of peers I don’t approve of.
Toward that end, I have been hyper vigilant and downright controlling when it comes to my kids’ friendships. Every Friday, for years, I have been coordinating and hosting playdates for them. My kids perceive them as a reward for getting through the school week. The real truth is, it’s my way of nurturing friendships with kids I want in their lives.
A funny thing has happened in the process. As I pick and choose friends for my kids, I find I am further refining my own definition of what a good friend is for me. Moreover, the prayer I say over my kids at night has been spilling over onto me.
I am an old mama, with all different types of friends from the different chapters of my life. But as the years go by, I have learned so much about myself through marriage and motherhood. With that knowledge comes a better understanding of what I want in a friend, and who I want to be as a friend. I’ve also learned that although my husband is wonderful, men aren’t equipped to meet all our emotional needs. That’s why God gave us girlfriends. But when God gives us girlfriends that will venture into the realm of faith with us, the relationships reach a level that blesses our lives over and over again.
I just came back from a weekend retreat with three friends. Over the course of the three days, not only did each of us have to prepare and serve a meal, but each of us had to prepare and present a session. Although all the topics varied, there were two elements that they all shared: silent reflection time, and Faith Sharing.
Faith Sharing is where each person shares her thoughts from her reflection time, uninterrupted. It’s one thing to hear God talk to you during your reflection time. It’s a whole different deal to hear Him talk to you through your friends during Faith Sharing. When you’re truly open and listening with your heart, the experience is life altering. It moves the bond of friendship deeper than the heart; it moves it into the depths of the soul. It is there that the relationships becomes sacred. It is there that the relationships becomes holy. It is truly a gift from God to experience this.
Zack just started Middle School, and I can feel the playing field shifting. I know the time is coming when my opinion of his choice in friends won’t matter as much, if at all. That’s when my nighttime blessing will take on a fierceness like never before. But that’s also where I have to trust in God. If He can create sacred and holy friendships in my life, He can certainly create them in Zack’s.
If you live in southern New Hampshire or northern Massachusetts and you’re longing for faith filled women in your life, I encourage you to attend a MOSAIC of Faith retreat, and/or join a MOSAIC Moms monthly group. All MOSAIC of Faith gatherings include reflection time and Faith Sharing where a sacred space is created to be heard, and to hear God through others. For more information, click on the tabs above.
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