Then when they saw the man who had been cured standing there with them, they could say nothing in reply. Acts 4:14
My friend, Pam, had a virtual birthday party for her son a few weeks ago. Leading up to it, I was busy gathering my little family together and logging on to the Zoom meeting. At the last second, I realized I needed to use the bathroom. So, I quickly ducked out to do so.
When I came out of the bathroom, the Zoom call was filled with the other families invited, but my kitchen was empty! Like a bunch of puppies with no attention span, every member of my family was in the backyard: my husband covering the grill, and my kids chasing a wild rabbit that happened to hop into our yard. Really?!!!
Immediately, my frustration level spiked. I went out onto the back deck and started yelling at everyone, telling them how incredibly rude they were being; The party had begun and they weren’t there.
My husband shot back that I was just as guilty. I had disappeared to use the bathroom. How was that any different?
I wanted to stand my ground, make my case that the situations were different, and win the argument. But, I didn’t have time for that. As much as it killed me to do so, I quickly admitted he was right, and apologized, just to get everyone back to the computer for the party.
After the fact, I can see that my husband was actually right. Some of the fault was mine. I hadn’t planned appropriately, and I was absent for the beginning of the call. In the grand scheme of things, degrees of fault don’t really matter. I made a mistake and needed to take responsibility for it. But no matter how trivial the situation, admitting he’s right is so hard for me!
In Acts 4:14, the members of the Sanhedrin brought Peter and John in for questioning. They were furious that Peter and John were healing people in Jesus’ name. What infuriated them most was seeing the man who had been crippled since birth fully cured. How do you argue with that one? How do you continue any disagreement when the other party produces clear evidence that you’re wrong?
Simply put: You don’t. No matter how high our blood pressure is, or how deep we’ve dug in our heels, we have to swallow our argument, humble ourselves, and admit we’re wrong. Sometimes that can feel like swallowing shards of glass, but so be it.
I’ve never been one to hide an argument with my husband from my kids. I think it’s important for them to see that marriage, like any relationship, can be hard. But it’s even more important to show them a healthy end to an argument: The one at fault accepting responsibility and apologizing to make things right.
That process shouldn’t take place quickly just to end the situation and get things back on track. It should be done thoughtfully, and sincerely, in order to truly mend the rift.
Questions for Reflection:
* Do I allow my kids to see disagreements between my husband and me?
* When I am at fault, do I accept responsibility and apologize from the heart?
Claire, how well this experience of yours describes so perfectly what unexpected life happenings, sometimes so minor, can do to all of us. The more we try, because of our spiritual enlightenment and desire to live each moment as Christ would, it seems we get thrown off our track with little annoyances, annoyances that reveal to us just how proud, impatient and self righteous we can still be, especially when we know we should apologize but still feel justified that the other caused the upset. The Biblical directive , ”don’t let the sun go down on your anger” always challenges me when I’m in a dilemma with someone, as you’ve described here, because I don’t feel ready to apologize in a phony way when I’m wrong! But I don’t want to “marinate” in my annoyance either, but do need the time to go before God, to hear what He’s saying about the situation and to ask for the courage to apologize and forgive!!! And just when we think we’ve conquered a flaw within ourselves and don’t need any more tests in that area, Boom! Life offers another! And I feel these intrusions will be the pattern until our last breath!!! God does have a sense of humor and never stops loving us just as we are! Oh what a God we have!!!
So beautifully said, Jackie! It seems the tests are endless, and even when I ace one, I fail another. Oh, the roller coaster ride that this life can be when God is trying to shape us and refine us. It is wonderful to know His love is unconditional, though, whether I ace the tests or fail. Hallelujah for that!
Great story , Thanks for sharing , your site is beautiful and encouraging. I pray the beauty of Jesus fills your life everyday.
Thank you, Dariush! I say the same about your site. Your love for God just jumps off the screen. Many blessings to you!