Then when they saw the man who had been cured standing there with them, they could say nothing in reply. Acts 4:14
My friend, Pam, had a virtual birthday party for her son a few weeks ago. Leading up to it, I was busy gathering my little family together and logging on to the Zoom meeting. At the last second, I realized I needed to use the bathroom. So, I quickly ducked out to do so.
When I came out of the bathroom, the Zoom call was filled with the other families invited, but my kitchen was empty! Like a bunch of puppies with no attention span, every member of my family was in the backyard: my husband covering the grill, and my kids chasing a wild rabbit that happened to hop into our yard. Really?!!!
Immediately, my frustration level spiked. I went out onto the back deck and started yelling at everyone, telling them how incredibly rude they were being; The party had begun and they weren’t there.
My husband shot back that I was just as guilty. I had disappeared to use the bathroom. How was that any different?
I wanted to stand my ground, make my case that the situations were different, and win the argument. But, I didn’t have time for that. As much as it killed me to do so, I quickly admitted he was right, and apologized, just to get everyone back to the computer for the party.
After the fact, I can see that my husband was actually right. Some of the fault was mine. I hadn’t planned appropriately, and I was absent for the beginning of the call. In the grand scheme of things, degrees of fault don’t really matter. I made a mistake and needed to take responsibility for it. But no matter how trivial the situation, admitting he’s right is so hard for me!
In Acts 4:14, the members of the Sanhedrin brought Peter and John in for questioning. They were furious that Peter and John were healing people in Jesus’ name. What infuriated them most was seeing the man who had been crippled since birth fully cured. How do you argue with that one? How do you continue any disagreement when the other party produces clear evidence that you’re wrong?
Simply put: You don’t. No matter how high our blood pressure is, or how deep we’ve dug in our heels, we have to swallow our argument, humble ourselves, and admit we’re wrong. Sometimes that can feel like swallowing shards of glass, but so be it.
I’ve never been one to hide an argument with my husband from my kids. I think it’s important for them to see that marriage, like any relationship, can be hard. But it’s even more important to show them a healthy end to an argument: The one at fault accepting responsibility and apologizing to make things right.
That process shouldn’t take place quickly just to end the situation and get things back on track. It should be done thoughtfully, and sincerely, in order to truly mend the rift.
Questions for Reflection:
* Do I allow my kids to see disagreements between my husband and me?
* When I am at fault, do I accept responsibility and apologize from the heart?