Into your hands I commend my spirit; You will redeem me, O Lord, O faithful God.
Lent is a time to reflect on, and look forward to, The Resurrection. It is the cornerstone of our faith – the turning point in the story of our redemption. Although The Passion of Christ has always moved me to tears, and deep gratitude, it has always been Jesus’ story, not mine. Lately, all of that has been changing…
I thought that as my kids gained more independence, I would gain more free time: that the pace of my life would calm down. Oh how wrong I was! Now my kids are more involved in extra curricular activities that I have to coordinate, keep track of, and provide taxi service for. I too have added extra curricular activities of my own. Some days are a complete blur as I fly by the seat of my pants, hoping and praying that I haven’t left a child stranded at karate or Tech Club in the chaos of it all.
The older I get, the more this crazy pace takes its toll on my brain-cell-depleted mind, but more so, on my soul. I know it’s time to step back when, not only am I physically exhausted, but I am soul-weary.
That’s when I need a resurrection of my own. That’s when I cry out in my prayer time, “Into Your hands I commend my spirit.” As a rule, I am a control freak who struggles with letting it all go to God. But when I hit this spirit-weary place, I have no energy left to control anything. Suddenly I am waving the white flag of control, perfectly willing to place it all in God’s hands: lock, stock, and barrel.
What happens next is the most amazing phenomenon: where there was chaos, there is calm. My exhausted state is infused with renewed energy. Most importantly, my life-less spirit is resurrected. I feel reborn and ready to jump back into my life with excitement.
My spiritual dream is to forever surrender my control so I can stay in this miraculous state of new life. But baby steps… Unlike a cat who only has nine tries to get it right, God is forever faithful. He will keep redeeming my spirit over and over and over again.
I wish everyone a blessed Easter, filled with new hope and rejuvenation!
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