I was ready to be sought out by those who did not ask, to be found by those who did not seek me. I said, “Here I am, here I am”… Isaiah 65:1
As those of you who have been reading my blog since November know, I’ve been struggling with being back at work. For months, I’ve been a disaster and couldn’t see past the mess in front of me.
Now that I’ve settle in, I’m learning that, in any hardship, God always leaves little gifts along the way. The shame is when we don’t life our eyes to see them.
If I’m going to be honest, I didn’t lift my eyes much even before going back to work. I am a planner, and I would have us planned three months out at all times. Consequently, I always had my eye on my calendar, or on all the preparation it took to be that organized.
Now, I can’t plan further ahead than 48 hours, and even that only happens when the stars align. I’m usually flying by the seat of my pants; and I have to look up or I’ll crash.
More than waiving the white flag of defeat, I’ve surrendered in all the best ways. My life is now completely in His hands because I simply cannot function otherwise. It’s one of the most liberating and life-giving things I’ve ever done.
Sadly, it took being a disaster to get there. But our ever patient God doesn’t care how we arrive at His feet. He’s just thrilled we’re there.
Now, raising my eyes to seek Him constantly, I’m blown away by the gifts He leaves everywhere. If you live in the Southern New Hampshire area, you know it’s been raining for months. But have you seen how God has been using those clouds to streak the most magnificent colors across the sky each night?
Just yesterday, I almost crashed my car on the highway, mesmerized by the riot of purple, yellow and white wild flowers covering the hillside on my commute. And the collective sigh from moms and kids alike that school is out, and summer has begun, has joy permeating everything.
Those examples are just the tip of the iceberg of what God does on a minute-to-minute basis. Just thinking about it has me holding my breath in anticipation of what I’ll get to see and witness next.
If life has been chaotic and busy for you, I encourage you to try the surrender thing. When you do, you’ll realize that striving for control is like smoke and mirrors anyways, an elusive goal we can never truly achieve.
It’s only by raising our eyes to Him that everything falls into place, and grace falls all over us.
Questions for Reflection:
* Where have I been focusing my vision lately?
* What do I see?
Oh yes, Claire, how patient with us is our Loving God. In our prayer time, over and over, we tell Him honestly that we trust and surrender all to Him in the day, week or month ahead. And then, to borrow an analogy from another spiritual piece I’ve recently read, as our days and weeks progress, we act like the driver, who listens intently to the GPS, but then decides to take over and find the destination him/herself. As you put it so succinctly, when we try “the surrender thing … raising our eyes to Him … everything falls into place …” Thanks, Claire for this powerful reminder. All we need do is surrender to our Loving God. His Hands and Heart are open and waiting to resolve the never-ending challenges that greet each of us regularly, and to pour His peace and grace all over us.
Love that analogy of the GPS and driver, Jackie. I think I’m that driver. I’m finding the surrender thing is a daily choice, actually a minute-to-minute choice. I have to keep reminding myself not to grab that wheel and blaze my own path. 🙂