For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:17
I believe God is always working for our good. So, when I end up in a difficult situation, I always ask myself what sharp edges do I have that need to be smoothed away.
The answer is always in how the issue rubs me the wrong way. If I can identify that, and make the necessary changes, that rubbing always files away my jagged edges.
My, oh my! There has been some serious friction going on in my life!
There’s an authority figure in my life right now who flips out whenever a mistake is made, whether by me, or someone else. I’m always on edge, waiting for that powder keg to blow. It’s the worst feeling in the world when your mistakes are thrown back in your face and you’re beaten up because of them.
The first time it happened to me, I was devastated and incredibly demotivated. I wanted to crawl under a rock and wave the white flag. The feelings were intense and all negative.
But when I asked myself what good it could work in my life, I was mortified by the answer. A hard as it is to admit, I’ve been guilty of treating my kids the same way.
When I am well rested and feel I have a bit of control in my life, I am a nurturing mom who helps her kids through their mistakes, lovingly teaching them the better choices they could have made. But when I am exhausted, and my life is spinning out of control, watch out – and RUN for cover!!
I can flip out at the drop of a hat. The bigger the mistake, the more I condemn and shame. I even go as far as digging up old mistakes and flinging those around like mud.
As horrifying as it is, I find ways to justify it: They don’t listen to me unless I yell. Changes doesn’t happen unless I flip out!
Now, being on the receiving end of that, I get that, of course, my kids listen when I yell. Of course, they change their behavior when I flip out. It would be suicide not to.
But, is that how I want to lead my people? Do I want to motivate from a place of condemnation and fear? Of course not! Sadly, it took living out what they’ve been experiencing to really get it.
So, who’s to say what’s bad or good? Having this authority figure in my life has been painful, but I can now see just how necessary it’s been to inspire me to change.
Question for Reflection:
* Do I motivate my kids from a place of love? Or a place of fear and condemnation?